Category: Uncategorized

Natural: The World is Bigger

“If you don’t get out of the box  you’ve been raised in, you won’t understand how much bigger the world is.” -Angelina Jolie

An encouragement to explore the many different facets of yourself, to resist suppressing your natural instincts. And as a result, to embrace yourself more truly, and thus, to be joyful more freely, and all the while, love the world more deeply.



Rebuilding vs. Remaining Damaged

build (something) again after it has been damaged or destroyed
They say life inevitably involves overcoming obstacles. However, it had never occurred to me to think about this in relation to the definition of the word rebuild (shown above). Per the definition, rebuilding means “building [ourselves and our circumstances up] again” rather than remaining in a “damaged or destroyed” state.
This applies to so many things in my life. Several among them…
  • My car got a flat tire – it was destroyed rather than damaged because it had completely popped open. Naturally, I needed to rebuild by replacing it with a new tire. When it comes to material things, rebuilding seems obvious.
  • Now, onto some of the less obvious applications of rebuilding … for one, my decision to be honest with myself and admit when Christianity no longer made sense to me – and was no longer the best fit for my observations of the world and for my values. The moment I deconverted was one of the most liberating, illuminating, and sweetly surreal moments of my life. However, the confusion and emptiness that ensued once this “high” was over was also one of the most challenging things I’ve had to deal with in my life, as I needed to strip my lifelong framework for viewing the world and see and make sense of each thing with new eyes – with so many perspectives to choose from. Rather than remain in a confused state, I must continue to learn, engage with the world, be honest with myself, and piece together the beliefs and values that are to be truly mine (although they may change again). I am in the process of rebuilding my faith, in something – or some things – new.
  • Failed relationships. I have been disappointed (as we all have been at some point) by what I felt the other person was willing to give in past relationships – as it seemed that the other person deemed me undeserving of more affection and commitment, it made me feel insecure and doubt my self-worth. However, rather than remaining dejected and/or cynical, I must build anew – and be cautious not to project any resentment from past relationships into my new one. I must recognize that this person is a completely new person and that I owe it to him as well as to myself to rebuild and trust.
  • My failures in relationships. Often, I linger on my failures and see myself in light of the failures. For example, although I’ve told myself that I do not want to be the petty, jealous, always-upset girlfriend that I was at one point in a past relationship, that I would be so much cooler and magnanimous this time around, I succumbed to the green monster and lost patience yet again. Rather than see myself as being back to this “petty and jealous person/gf,” I need to rebuild – and keep trying. I also need to recognize that these behaviors occur much less frequently than they did before, that I am a bit more mature than I was before, and my current love truly meets my emotional needs, 99.99% of the time, which I could not say before. And I must continue to rebuild and improve.
  • I chose the wrong major in college due to my lack of knowledge of self and of the world. However, I must continue my individual studies/exploring in my newfound career field of interest (coding), while continuing to do well in my current job and keeping an eye open to opportunities to gain experience in coding.

The main thing about rebuilding seems to be to not remain in a damaged or destroyed state. Meaning, not to stay discouraged for too long, and to not let discouragement get the best of you. Discouragement is not the best of you – there is also hope, magnanimity, and a drive for purpose/excellence, which thirst to be watered/nurtured and call on you to constantly rebuild.